I walked to the post office to pick up a parcel. On my way back I felt that familiar craving for hot chips.

(yes, tis another email that begins with a walk and my food cravings)
(yes, tis how my Cancer 3H speaks)

I stopped at the corner pizzeria. I'd never gone in before. It used to be a coffee shop. I walk in, and after a while the person working in the kitchen comes out to take my order. I order regular chips with chicken salt.

After she takes my payment, she looks at me and goes: you must be a really happy person. I get a very positive energy from you.

I laugh and start talking about how yes I guess I am happy, it is such a beautiful sunny day and the birds are singing and -----

She continues looking at me straight in the eye: I have not been feeling very happy. But now I am looking at you, I feel happy in my heart.

She shares about the challenging predicament she is currently in, then thanks me for listening.

I ask her for her name, then what it means.

"Future"

𓇢𓆸

I wait on the woven bistro chairs, feeling the heavy density of the pizzeria, while the sun continued shining, and the birds kept singing.

She comes out with my hot chips drizzled with garlic mayo and perinaise, a large box instead of the regular size I ordered.

I walk home, grateful for our sweet encounter, reflecting how just two days ago, “you must be really happy” the last thing I would say to myself, let alone anyone else encountering me for the first time.

𓇢𓆸

Sometimes you don't need to journal another page to map out the story of your attachment patterns or do another yoga class to calm your spiral down, you just need another human being witnessing you as you are for you to have a new relational experience that alters what you believe.

In relating to others, we shrink and camouflage and mask so beautifully.

My body shows me palpably that this hurts. Hiding what we truly feel from ourselves and others - hurts us.

I learned this again this week, when I chose to ask for support and received it.

The terror of my emotional terrain was soothed.

I emerged back out into the world, a little lighter.

𓇢𓆸

A friend showing up for me meant I showed up in my life two days later on a random afternoon - felt by a stranger in my neighbourhood - light and bright.

I now think of my life not as the BIGGEST IMPACT I need to transform at all levels all at once all the faults flaws fixed as quickly as possible.

Choosing to be in my life deeply feels small and slow in the grand scheme of things but it is through incremental changes over time that clears the gunk and shifts the needle in the wider collective field.

In somatics, we move slowly in tiny titrated droplets, because the density of our body requires time for changes to integrate in our real time experience.

When you go slow, more of you comes along on the ride with you.

𓇢𓆸

I can attend to me, I can be resourceful and choose what supports me so my presence is a gift wherever I am, whoever I encounter, whatever I do.

Being is what people actually sense before any of the Doing we get very busy bee about.

𓇢𓆸

Today represents another new start, another pivot point, as the Sun moved into Libra, marking the spring equinox in the southern hemisphere and autumn equinox in the northern hemisphere.

In relating to others, we also expand and illuminate and shine so beautifully.

The gift of Libra is that we are continually learning to tip the scales of what feels unjust, awful and discordant with what feels fair and lovely and harmonious.

May you feel the scales tipping in your favour this week:

a light breeze on your back,
a pep in your step,
your baggage eight bricks lighter ؛༊

𓍯 ִֶָ
Rachel